By Holly Murphy, Program Intern
Online dating apps are the most widely used method of making new connections in the modern dating age. Statistics show that an astounding 384 million users worldwide are currently utilizing these platforms in hopes of finding their true “match.” (Hack Spirit, 2023) Many different dating apps exist on the market today. The most popular dating apps are Tinder, Bumble, Facebook Dating, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, MeetMe, and many more. Some dating apps target certain populations, such as LGBTQIA+ (I.e., Grindr, Her, Feeld, etc.). Each app has certain messaging features that allow you to communicate and share music, photos, and more with your potential match. The number of users on these platforms has seen a dramatic increase in just the past few years and continues to grow in users by the day.
While it can be an enticing idea to “match” with someone based on shared similar interests and attraction, how can we build real authentic connections online while also maintaining our personal safety? Virtual dating can pose risks for harm when we consider that people are not always who they portray themselves to be online. Unfortunately, people can use dating apps with harmful intentions, seeking out the vulnerabilities of individuals looking for connection and love. It can be difficult to recognize warning signs or red flags in potential relationships when communicating online. It is never your fault if someone uses a dating app to cause you harm and we must work to address the harmful behaviors happening online.
In order to create safe and enjoyable online dating experiences, it is important to educate users on consent and communicating and respecting boundaries. We can also take steps to improve our personal safety and learn more about safety features that can add protection to our online presence.
Overall Online Dating Safety Tips:
Set clear and intentional boundaries on consent. It is very common for users on dating apps to be specifically looking to engage in hook-up-related activities or sex. It is very important for all users to communicate your intentions, the kind of relationship you are seeking, and what you feel comfortable with early on to make sure you are on the same page and give and receive consent to sexual activity. This will ensure boundaries and expectations are clear for everyone.
Be vigilant. When getting to know someone, it's extremely important that you don’t give too much personal information about yourself away. Otherwise, a person can pretend to share similar interests to gain your trust or be able to use that information against you later.
Meet in a public setting. When meeting and getting to know someone for the first time, meeting in a public space can contribute to the safety of the environment. Being in a public setting gives you the advantage of having help from others if you start to feel unsafe at any point.
Consider sharing your location with a trusted person when meeting up. Or, if you prefer, let a trusted friend or family member know who you are meeting and exactly where, and consider providing a reference photo of who you are meeting for them.
Always trust your gut! If you ever feel something is wrong, trust your instincts and exit the situation as safely as possible.
Have a backup plan. This could help immensely if you need a ride home or an excuse to leave a potentially dangerous situation. It is okay to lie or fake an emergency if ever you feel your safety is at risk.
In-App Safety Tips:
Some dating apps also offer their own added security features that users can enable or utilize to increase their privacy while using the app and report users who make them uncomfortable or engage in harmful behavior.
Tinder
Incognito mode: This feature allows your profile to remain active but will only be visible to users in which you have previously liked or matched with. (This is a feature only accessible with Tinder+, Gold, or Premium.) Although it should be an available feature for everyone using the platform, it is still useful.
Blocking: Tinder offers a “block contact” feature that allows users to block any of their contacts that they would prefer not to see. Tinder also has a “block profile” feature that you can access while swiping to prevent having a user show up again. Both of these blocking features are available to everyone.
Long-process Reporting: This feature is useful in the way that it makes reporting inappropriate behavior easier for users to do. This in-app messaging feature can be accessed by pressing and holding an offensive message, and allows users to report directly from the chat. This is also a feature available to everyone.
Bumble
In-app video chat/calling: This allows you to video chat and call other users without having to give out your personal contact information before you are comfortable doing so.
Private Detector: This feature automatically blurs lewd or inappropriate photos and has the option to unblur if you choose to see.
Unmatch: This feature allows you to unmatch another user and provide information if you so chose. Bumble also has an inclusive block & report system.
Building real and authentic connections online is possible and can be enjoyable and fun. It is very important that we build respectful, inclusive, and safe online environments where consent and boundaries are discussed and supported. While we work to build cultures and communities of respect and care, we can all consider these additional steps to improve our online safety and privacy.
References:
Online Dating and Dating App Safety Tips (RAINN)
Online Dating Statistics in 2023: Trends & Surprising Insights (Hack Spirit)
